Personal

Being

Being, to me, is existing as a whole. The physical body that you have been given in this life is something that you cannot change and I am all for that. On the other hand, and I’m aware that I’m contradicting myself – if you are not happy with the body that you’ve been given to the point where you want to hurt yourself, then that is your right to choose what you would like to change about yourself. I know what it feels like to not belong, and to feel like you don’t belong in the body that is supposed to represent you must feel like hell.

The flip side to being is the idea of your soul. Some people believe that their soul belongs to a greater being, and that they must follow a set of rules to ensure that they rise to heaven, as that is their ultimate goal. For me, I don’t believe in a greater god that controls the world. I believe the universe was created by something, but I don’t believe that that something is some one. The point of life at the moment seems so dull and ordinary, run by a system that some are fighting. People go to school, get a job, do the whole family thing, and then die. That is it. I don’t want that. I don’t want a typical white picket fence family life while I dread going to work during the weekdays and my two day weekends are short lived and pointless because no one ever really gets to do what they want and they compromise for others.

At the point I know I sound like a self-obsessed, unfiltered bitch but really, think about it. People get into relationships because it makes them feel good. No one gets with someone with the goal of making the other person happy with no happiness in return. No one stands being in a group of friends if nothing they do makes them feel happy. Even if they pick on you, the validation one gets from being in a group makes them feel happy and hence, there you go. People do things to please themselves. That’s always been the case. The survival instinct that humans have plays into this as well. People fought for food and water as to survive, you had to be your strongest self. You did things for your family, your friends, yourself. So what’s stopping us now?

Now we have a set of morals that tells us to do things for others. It teaches us that the world needs us to help, when really all we’ve done to “improve” this Earth has ended up in total travesty. Global warming, mass genocide, cultural superiority, racism, sexism, I can go on forever. The separation of individuals in this world, whether it be humans or animals has all been done by us. We think that because everyone lives the 9-5 life that we should too. We think that our creative efforts, whatever they may be, will be lost on this world and aren’t worth pursuing because we can’t match the levels of Einstein or Vivaldi. But that doesn’t matter. Our life, our existence, our being, is all up to us. And I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life that is actually worth living and means something. I don’t think people should be held back from what they believe to be their calling because of something holding them back. I could give myself 10908547539457 reasons to scrap projects that I don’t think are valuable but I don’t do that because I don’t think it’s right.

Ideas and inventions and day dreams you have about the world are yours. You hold them. Whether you fail or succeed is up to the universe and in part, up to you. If you lose passion for something, then you lose passion for something. If you fall in love with the most eclectic of people, then you do. It doesn’t matter. Existence and being is abstract, to give it meaning is something that we have the capability to do, so let’s do it.

Andrea x

 

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