I touched down on the 6th of December. The weather was 30 degrees, and I was boiling in my plane attire. Being home always comes with a mix of emotions; I never really know how I feel. Nevertheless, the end of November was a sad one for me and I was glad to be away from some of the negativity that was getting me down; I felt alone – and don’t get me wrong, everyone gets lonely sometimes, but I just felt like I wasn’t wanted/needed around those who I cared about.I don’t like to expect much or latch onto people that I meet on a day to day basis but when it comes to those who I feel close and connected to, I get protective – and I get hurt, too easily.
I’m not going to tell you a story of how I’m an outcast in my circle of friends or how much attention I crave 24/7 because no one wants to hear a 17 year old whine about how lonely she feels in this BIG, BAD world. What I want to write is what I learned from this loneliness; I need to show those who I care for that I, in fact, do care for them. I’m not the most affectionate human being and I’m definitely not the kindest, but this month I’ve been genuinely trying. Smiling at strangers, telling those around me that I love them, being kind to old ladies that are crossing the street, noticing the emotions of people around me before I act out or say anything stupid and insensitive.
My new years resolution thing that I never set out to do (because who really does their new years resolution) already started in December; kindness instead of judgement is starting to creep into this angsty teenage soul I possess and you know what? It feels sooooooooo good. Therefore, this is why, for the whole of 2016, I am going to do a photography project. I was inspired by this video I saw of a lady photographing one thing she was grateful for everyday of the year. Because this is not an original project in any sense, the only way to make it my own is to make it strictly focused on portraits. I want to really take in the people around me; they don’t have to be my best friend or a member of my family. They could be the cafeteria lady or the man that mows the playing fields – but everyday of 2016, I have vowed (to myself) to take one picture of someone I am grateful for – and hopefully hearing this will put a smile on their faces too. Let’s see what I come up with.
What are you going to do in the new year?