Personal

November; The Next Chapter

There are distinct days in my life when it feels like a chapter is ending. You would think that the beginning of University would be the obvious choice for this new beginning but it didn’t feel that way. Maybe it was because of boarding school that living in dorms didn’t feel so foreign or maybe being on my own again felt more comfortable than I remember from before. Either way, I wasn’t struggling in the first few weeks of school because well, there wasn’t much to be worried about.

However, when everything is going right in your life, it tends to do a 180 and stab you in the back. Slowly my health, my mind, my relationships were deteriorating one by one and I felt lost in my new environment. It didn’t help that I was aware that I was the cause of all my problems, either. Feeling this way is difficult when you’re making new friends because it’s awkward to go crazy on them within the first few weeks of knowing them. Naturally, I did what anyone would do — act normal. And this is where the problem starts.

Everyone has their ups and downs but the way they deal with them differs from person to person. I tend to lean towards the ignore-everything-until-it-all-comes-crashing-down approach. And, well, surprise! That’s exactly what happened. A positive note: coming out of it has made me calmer and more focused on my priorities for this next chapter. I’m still unsure as to why I’m sharing this but I feel like as this is my personal outlet, it’s nice to have a public reminder of not just the good but also the bad, because it’s natural and we should all be okay with the fact that life isn’t perfect and will never be. I have a lot to prove this year – to my parents, my friends and most importantly, myself. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first and I need to actually start doing that. Let’s hope the next few months aren’t as dramatic as this one.

– Andrea x

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Photography, Travel

Bali on Film

In the middle of August, my best friends came down to Singapore and stayed with Kyla and I but we decided to take a detour into beautiful Bali. It was a year and a bit since we were all together and what better place to do it than on an island? Here you will find some of the photos from our days that were taken on the 35mm half frame.

Enjoy!

Ubud

Uluwatu

 

Andrea x

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Personal

Closing the Gap (Year)

So the time has come where I leave what’s familiar to me behind, yet again. I’ve done this countless times in the past 3 years and it sort of feels like second nature to me now but that doesn’t mean it gets easier –

The prospect of having yet another different chapter added into my life is always exciting because I love going places, meeting new people and having more stories to tell.

And this time, this chapter is going to be titled: University.

The next 4 years I will be spending most of my time on the south coast of England, which comes with its pros and cons. It doesn’t feel very new because of the 2 years I spent here before but being away for a year in tropical climates makes the cold a little uninviting.

I can only hope that the experiences and people I will meet will make up for it. (It usually does.)

The past year has been hard, rewarding and full of joy, all at the same time. Hard because learning how to work and working multiple jobs is not only physically stressful, but also emotionally and it was evident in my mood and wasn’t the healthiest lifestyle but hey, we make do.

The hard work paid off though, when I used the money that I earned to go away and live a simpler but more fulfilling life in Africa, teaching for a few months.

My days were nothing short of exciting because children have such creative minds and I was learning a lot more from them as the days flew past. I was also learning how to truly be myself and to be happy and comfortable of who I am.

The children and the people I met were so full of happiness, life, and had like-minded goals that made it easy to be myself around them because the energy that they brought was positive and never-ending.

Now, I hope this translates somewhat into the newest chapter in my life and hopefully I have grown up enough this past year to really get stuck in and work for what I want.

Because I really do want to succeed and I don’t think I can’t handle failing again.

Wish me luck!

Andrea x

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Personal

June // Happy

It’s taken us awhile to get here, huh.

It was gemini season and my birthday month so maybe that might have had something to do with it but I was really feeling all kinds of love from everyone around me in June.

Happy used to be an emotion that I would confuse with elation and because of that, be stuck in a cycle of “why am I not happy?” when indeed, for the most part, I was.

If they were put side by side, happy would be rated 6/10 and elation would be 9/10 and confusing the two meant that I would only consider moments where I felt joy to the point where only if tears rolled down my eyes – that would be a moment of happiness. Do you see what my issue was?

In June, happiness transformed into a constant high – where content filled every hour of every day. Those around me made me feel the safest I’ve felt in awhile. The rawness of my existence in June made me feel as vulnerable as a newborn baby but I embraced it fully because I felt like I finally made a start in finding my place amongst all others in this big, bad universe.

The positive energy that I gave out also felt reciprocated and I do believe that being grateful and showing that I was played a major role in achieving this happy high.

So to everyone that I’ve met, spent time with, laughed with and cried with in June, thank you, for making it one of the happiest times of my life (so far).

-Andrea

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Photography, Travel

Grainin’ Greece

Hello, world.

In the midst of sorting out all my photographs and editing new ones here and there I have re-discovered my film photos from Santorini and Athens.

I have shared these images with my people on social media, but never on this platform. As always, some are better than others but I think they do capture the moments.

Greece was the second country Kyla and I went to on our “Europe” trip circa Summer 2016 and we basically spent the 24h of our days together. Personally I enjoyed Athens a lot more because it provided a variety of things to see, do and appreciate whereas Santorini, although beautiful, became a routine and we like spontaneity.

Nevertheless, I’m sure you’ve seen multiple photographs of the blue waters and white architecture that the world associates with the greek islands, but here’s my little take on it.

Enjoy.

 

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Something a lil different: Here are some shots of me by Kyla, my personal photographer and best friend.

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-Andrea

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Personal, Photography

“Love is love is love is-”

You guessed it, love.

One of the most important messages that I try to remind myself is this “Your heart doesn’t care who you love but how you love.”

Pink dot, from my understanding, is an event in Singapore where people within the LGBTQ community and their straight allies can showcase their conviction for a Singapore that is diverse, inclusive and supports the freedom to love.

Being bisexual myself, I can honestly say it’s been a ride. Quite an easy one, in comparison to a lot of my friends, but I’ve still yet to come out to my parents. (Although I honestly think it wouldn’t make a difference – well I hope so, at least.)

I’m technically coming out to the internet right now and although most of my friends and some of my family know that I like girls and boys, I’m feeling rather special; as if this online coming out of the closet moment makes my sexuality official.

Even though we all know it doesn’t work that way.

But…this isn’t about me. This is about all the individuals who have had the courage to accept themselves for who they are and are sharing it with the world. The ones that embrace their sexuality and flaunt it with the confidence that they finally possess. The ones that don’t have to hide from anyone anymore.

So enjoy the happiness and love that I captured on this beautiful day – and remember: love is love is love is love.

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PS: Thank you friends for letting me feature you on this space – you are all very beautiful individuals and the camera loves you.

x Andrea

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Personal, Photography

Hint of Pink

Coming back home to a roll of film with only 5 shots left and not being able to remember what memories you’d captured before creates an air of anticipation as you await the results once the film gets sent to the developers.

I’d taken a risk and used an Ilford HP5 Plus Black and White Negative and was hoping to use it in my Olympus OM-1 but bad timing struck and my SLR has been damaged and sitting idle in my room, waiting for someone to be able to fix it.

So instead, I used my point and shoot, hoping for the best. There are many light leaks that seeped through because of a crack in my P&S (yes I am a klutz) but I’d like to think of them as beautiful mistakes.

As always, there’s room for improvement and until I can get my Olympus up and running again the pictures will never be the best quality but it’s not the tool, it’s how you use it. Right, boys and girls?

Enjoy.

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X Andrea

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